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I want to thank Jen for bringing this up the other day. It was a HUGE part of our lives for so long, and it really still is. Sleep. Oh, how I love the. Let me count the ways. Which brings me to the topic of this blog. Sleep routines with a newborn. 

*Disclaimer–Everybody has their own routine that works, don’t hate me because mine is beautiful*

Its October. It’s getting colder, and I was getting fatter. No not last October, the one before that. October 2010. Baby Mac decided it was time. Well, we decided it was time to evict her. So we served her notice in the form of pitocin and she gathered her things and ran outta her womb like it was on fire. She was so cute and squishy. She had clearly been bulking up for her debut. I can’t blame her. There were lots of photos. She just wanted to look good. And she was so cute. Did I mention that already? Ok, I just want to emphasize how stinking cute she WAS. Until she turned into a monster. A no sleep, always wanting to eat, pee through her diaper, projectile pooping monster. She was great until it came to bedtime. She was all about staying up with her parents. Again, I can’t blame her. We are pretty awesome. In the spirit of sharing, I wont leave too much out. Basically, she decided I was a buffet. An all you can drink nightmare. She cluster fed until I was so raw I couldn’t bear the thought of nursing for another minute, much less a year. I gave it the ole college try. I toughed it out. For about a week. And then I threw in the towel. When she gave me a blood blister that made my milk bloody, I had had enough. We were supplementing at that point I believe and I was attempting to pump to keep up with her without her razor sharp sucking machine of a mouth making me even more sore. I’d nurse and pump. I hear that pumping that early was a mistake, but let me tell you, at that time you could have told me she would get pure gold outta my boobs and I still wouldn’t have let her near me. So we started formula. Which brings me to the ultimate point. Our routine. 

Because we switched to formula when she was itty bitty, we were blessed with a routine that included me sleeping more than I had been. *Let me mention here that I was also suffering with a pretty rough patch of post partum depression as well, so sleep was high on the list of things I could cope with and frankly needed to cope* So we developed a routine that worked. I got sleep and so did Jacob and Mackenzie…well she did her baby thing. 

Jacob was working weekends, so it opened up a few extra options for us. We alternated who got up and who got up when. And I napped almost every time she napped. Which went down to twice a day pretty quickly. I’d wake up with her in the morning and then she’d go back down around 10 or 11 and then she’d be up until 330 or 4 sometimes and we’d go get Hayden from school and then when we came home she and I would nap. I’m not ashamed to say I napped with her. It worked for me. I needed the sleep. I needed the down time I wasn’t getting while I was awake. If I was awake I was trying to do laundry or clean or read or watch TV or just keep busy. So instead, a lot of times, I would just sleep. Sometimes it is the only way I can stop my brain from constantly running. So I do, and I did. Judge if you must, but know that I couldn’t care less. I know for a fact my sleep schedule irritates people. Good for you. Be irritated. I’ll be sleeping, we can discuss it when I wake up. 

We started splitting up the nights while she was getting up a lot. One of us would stay up late with her, until at least 2 or 3, and then the other one would get up with her from 3 until whenever. Sometimes I stayed up and sometimes I slept. It was really hit or miss. Ultimately she started getting up less and less and we were able to get more sleep. And God love him, my husband saw that if I was going to get any better emotionally and stay that way, I needed a full night sleep at least a few times a week. So bless his soul, he started staying up with her Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday nights. He would get up with her, feed her, change her and put her back to bed. All while I slept. Sometimes I would get up and help, and sometimes she would sleep through the night. She was all mine Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights because he was working 12 hours Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Sunday nights just depended on how rough his weekend at work was and how she slept for me. 

If you know me, you know I’m a napper, and I’m a sleeper. I like sleep. It makes me feel better. I don’t love it the way I used to because I know I use it to avoid dealing with things, but I also need it more than the average person. I don’t know why, I just do. I always have. I have to get enough sleep to be a decent human being. It’s just the truth. I’m a horrible person to be around if I’m not getting enough sleep. And somehow, my husband is almost the polar opposite. He needs sleep, yes. But he is able to sleep around 6 hours and he’s good. He can’t sleep in either. Thank goodness one of us is that way, I guess. Otherwise we’d never get anything done. 

So that’s it. Our routine while baby Mac was an itty bitty. 

Now, our sleep routine consists of me sleeping and Jacob getting up with her if she gets up. I rarely get up with her anymore. Not because I don’t want to, but she usually won’t calm down for me like she will for him. And if I pick her up, I can’t put her down. She will just wake up. I have no idea why. It’s not immediate but it’s eventual. As in, if I’m the one who puts her down, she will eventually wake up. It might be 5 minutes it might be an hour, but it will happen eventually. I don’t know why she does it. I don’t know if it’s because she realizes I’m not holding her anymore or if she wants her daddy to put her down for the night, I have no idea. But it doesn’t matter how she got to sleep, if it was with me or Jacob, he has to be the one to physically put her in her bed. Weird, I know. 

How she gets to sleep at night is still a struggle and getting her to bed is an issue sometimes. She typically lays down with us and we either sing her to sleep or she watches one of our shows with us. We need to get a rocking chair for her room so we can rock her to sleep again, but for now, this works. It’s not ideal, but my lingering mommy guilt is soothed by laying down with her every single night to go to sleep as a family. So, for now, it works. 

And that’s it. A whole post on Baby Mac and her sleep habits. Or lack there of. 

Bones

Good to be back.

And on Father’s day no less.

Now, for a post about my husband, my baby daddy.

Ya’ll. I have an awesome husband, meaning my kids have an awesome father. But that in no way means we are perfect. Duh. I have an awesome husband for the precise reason that he drives me absolutely bonkers half the time. He challenges me to be a better person every day. A better person who doesn’t throw things at him when he cops a tude when I’m running low on sleep and energy. A better person who doesn’t scream and yell when my house isn’t clean when I get home from work and he’s been home all day. A better person who can enjoy sitting around watching soccer and cleaning out our garage on a Sunday that was SUPPOSED to be lazy. He makes me do things I don’t want to do, like dishes and laundry. He makes me wake up before 10 on the weekends. He challenges me to be the head of the household when it comes to making sure we are eating right and not eating man food all the time.

All of the sarcasm really means this: my life would be REAL boring and mediocre if he wasn’t around. He keeps me on my toes. He doesn’t let me get away with everything. He keeps our kids laughing and he even laughs when I’m being a complete idiot. And he can laugh at himself. And he makes me laugh, which is real important ya’ll.

And he likes what I like to watch on the E-lectronic Picture Machine aka the TV. Bones anyone? Seriously, where have I been the last like…..6 years? I don’t know but I’m in love with this show. And the best part? He loves it too. We watch at LEAST 4 or 5 episodes a week. And we aren’t even close to being caught up. lol

So..Happy Fathers Day babe. You’re the best, there’s no Bones about it 😉

Boring

That’s what I’ve decided my life is. Boring. Aside from job searching and child rearing, I’m pretty boring.

I’m so congested my teeth hurt when I try to move faster than a slow crawl, meaning breathing during related activities is also difficult. Needless to say that means ye ole treadmill hasn’t been getting any action from me lately. 2 weeks at least. Cuz cool kids wait that long to see the doctor, didn’t you know that?

I’ve been reading a lot lately…read a few Harper Connelly books, not impressed. Right now I’m reading The Help. I kinda want to read the Hunger Games, but I haven’t gotten around to it yet. I LOVED the Janet Evanovich book One for the Money, but I’m trying to find Two for the Dough a little cheaper. Doesn’t look like my li-bary has it either. LAME SAUCE.

Mac has started singing when she hears music that appeals to her. Looks like I’ve got a nerd on my hands, cuz that’s mostly classical. Not that its a bad thing. Bring on the nerdom and the MD, mama needs an in-house Doc! (read above, lol)

Hayden is more than excited that it’s football season again. I just have to keep reminding him that he’s an Auburn fan. Not that he loves any other team as much as his Cardiac Cats….he just doesn’t quite understand the heartache that comes along with being an Auburn fan. 2010 National Champs…lets just say that was the highlight of a LOT of bad years for us loyal followers. I have a feeling he might be getting a big healthy dose soon though…its only a matter of time before those Tigers lose their stripes, as much as it hurts me to say it. We just don’t look strong enough to finish out the season without at least a few L’s in the column. I, however, have more faith than the announcers (who are just hateful in general to AU sometimes). I do think we have a shot at a decent bowl game. BCS bowl? Prolly not. But a bowl game none the less. I know it may hurt my Alabama fan husband…but those Bammers are gonna eat it at LEAST once this year. National Championship team they are not. Not unless they do some REAL work this season. And maybe get a little luck. I’m just not seeing them strong. Typically, if they have a strong team they come out that way, and they just haven’t the last 2 games. We shall see. We shall see. But you heard it here first folks!

OK…I guess I had more to blog about than I thought. Really just get me started talking about college ball and I can talk for HOURS. I may not know everything but I love the sport and I try to keep up. It’s hard but a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do when she lives in the South!

P.S. Ever feel like your life was a bad episode of “Groundhog Day”??

Hey Ya’ll

Ok. I’m back. For reals this time. Yeah yeah, I’ve said it before, but look. This girl has got to get back in the swing of things. A) I need to laugh B) I need to lose weight and C) I love making people laugh. Seriously. It’s an all-time favorite past time. Even though I’m pretty sure that 90% of the time I either try too hard or I’m just not funny, I still love to try.

Life Update: Mac is 10 months old. WHOA BABY NOTSOBABYANYMORE! Hayden is almost 10 years old. No comment on THAT one. And I’m almost an age that I don’t particularly want to admit. But Hubbs is closer. HAH. Oh 30, you will be a hilarious year, twice over. I’m 26, almost 27 and Hubbs is a not so fresh 28. Young, yes. But Hubbs is older. Let’s not be forgetting that.

I’m quite a few pounds bigger than I’ve ever been in my ENTIRE LIFE. I’m on meds for depression and I’m unemployed. Guess not much has changed since the last time I was here! lol

I’m currently looking for jobs anywhere and everywhere that pay in real money, not fake money, like “contacts” or “networking opportunities”. Show me the green stuff. For reals.

Hubbs and I are both coaching soccer this season, and I made a SMASHING debut already. I’m coaching for the first time and Hubbs is assistant coaching. I’ve got a U-15 team. I’m sure that is RIPE for good blog posting. Being a youth coach is ripe for good stories. Here is just a small tidbit of what I get to enjoy:

During soccer camp a little 4 year old girl with QUITE the personality asks me if the handsome devil “over there” is my hubbs. and I say, why yes, he is. And she then says “well if you had a boyfriend, then you’d be cheating. and if you’re cheating you’re not just cheating on your husband, you’re cheating on your kids too”. My response (other than shock and horror) Ok, well, I dont have a boyfriend so I think we’re all good here. Sharks and Minnows anyone? ANYONE?

See. Out of the mouths of babeswhosdadshaveclearlycheated. Gotta love it.

Other than that we’re good. Just trying to get back in the groove and out of this “no running” rut. If this cold would ever go away I’ll be getting right back on that. No one needs to see allllll if this running AND unable to breathe. It’s just not cute ya’ll.

I’m hoping this will help. I.E. blogging. Maybe the cyber world will keep me accountable. DID YOU HEAR THAT CYBERWORLD….KEEP ME ACCOUNTABLE OR NO ONE ELSE WILL AND I’LL BE CHUBBS FOREVER!

*did anyone notice I used “cyber”? what am I…100?

Forgive me will you?

I have had an eventful time since I last posted here. I’ve been sick, my boys have been sick, birthday parties were attended, and most importantly…friends were found.

It’s an amazing thing…going from one extreme to the other. It’s amazing and exciting but its also humbling. In the time that I have spent apart from my very best friend, I have learned a lot about myself and I hope that helps us move forward in our friendship. I have learned that I am capable of being independent but that I’d rather have someone to experience life with. I learned that I can be a little to hard on people and I’m working on that. I learned that I can be stubborn and that sometimes that is a good thing. I have also learned that I am a forgiving person. I would never have called myself that before now. Yes, I’ve forgiven people before, but it always came with a sense that I really wasn’t as forgiving as I may have thought. I carried the anger and hurt with me. This go ’round I’m really trying to just forgive, forget, and move on. That doesn’t mean I haven’t learned lessons, I certainly have, and those lessons I will carry with me. But as I carry those with me, I am hoping to carry them as only lessons and not as barriers.

OK enough with the deep thoughts….

MAC ROLLED OVER YESTERDAY! WOOOO HOOO! She is 15 weeks old and a rolling machine! I am so very proud!!!

I have also learned the reason why they call it a “poop shoot”….yep…cuz it SHOOTS POOP….Mac is a pro, lemme tell ya. Well….I wont..but you get the picture. Poopie time is “watch out for flying objects” time in our house. lol…she’s definitely more challenging baby to change than Hayden was, I would NEVER have expected it!

OK…and now shes fussing ……..gotta run!

Well now


That will make your day better now won’t it 🙂

Day One

And all I can think is …….OMG what have I gotten myself into?! Will I REALLY be running 13.1 miles in 4 months? I can’t even begin to think its going to be easy. Did I really run a MARATHON and I can’t even think about running a half?! What in the world has gotten into me….oh yeah..I remember now….A BABY. lol I couldnt resist.

So Mackenzie will be roughly 6 months old when this half marathon occurs. SIX MONTHS. My guess—she’ll weigh as much as a 2 year old. jk jk. But I suppose she may be crawling and giving whomever has the privilege of watching her during the race a helluva hard time. BWAHAHAHA, my baby is going to be a handful and I can’t WAIT.

What else is going on??????? HMMMMMMM….still volunteering at the best office on earth aka the public defenders office (I was on a first name basis with an inmate ya’ll…well…I knew his first name..I can’t remember if he knew mine…although I had an advantage…he wore his on his STATE PRISONER vest..meh heh heh), Hayden goes back to school tomorrow (collective sigh…awwww), still on the job hunt, Jacob is enjoying working weekends now that college football is over for him, and we’re just taking it day by day.

any funny baby moments lately you ask? Why YES. Picture this: You’re in a public place..any public place..we’ll say…Best Buy in Columbus lol and baby starts the UUHHHGGGHHH….EERRRGGGHHHH…and you know whats coming…and then you smell that not so sweet smell. Its time to take baby to the bathroom. Everything is going well until…UUUGGGH…and somehow…there’s poop on the diaper wipe carrier…at the other end of the changing table. Nice Mackenzie. A kamikaze poop in the public restroom. Touche.

Christmas

Well now that the whirlwind is over I can update this thing!! I really do want to get better about it!

Christmas was awesome. The fun started on the 22nd with a date with the hubbs for my birthday. We went to a Creole restaurant here in Columbus, GA and had some AMAZING food (and beer and wine….yum!). The 23rd we drove up to my mom’s house in Cullman, AL. The drive up was nothing short of an adventure to say the LEAST. lol

Cici doesn’t like to sit in the backseat without her mama. So I sat in the back with her and Hayden for part of the ride and ever so dangerously climbed to the front when she was sleeping. Which was off and on, and only when the car was moving. She decided that about 2 and a half hours in…it was time to drop a bomb in her diaper! lol…have you ever had to change a car in the middle of nowhere in the car? I’m telling you…it was fun!! The other AWESOME part of our trip up was the stop at Chipotle. If you know anything about where I live now…you’ll know its small-ish. Well when you live in a small-ish town…that means some of your favorite food no longer involves a drive down the street. We lack some essentials like Pei Wei, Chipotle, Fuzzys, Red Cactus, Whataburger, Red Hot and Blue, any really good Mexican food….Lets just say, mama missed her cravings this summer!! I’m really not sure how I survived..why dont these places deliver 3 states away? I mean really. So Jacob promised that we would go to Chipotle if there was one in between here and my moms and thankthegoodsweetbabyjesus there was one. Allbeit after about 30 extra minutes of traffic. So once I could hear again (remember that part about the baby not liking the car stopping?) we ate the best Chipotle I’ve ever had. (really I’m sure it tasted the same…but after 3+ months without it….it was nothing short of amazing)

We spent the 23rd to the 25th with my mom and had a blast. Highlight: Drivesafe.ly—it reads my texts out loud….and we’re 12…man that english lady is filthy!

We headed back to PC on the 25th and spent the rest of the holiday with J’s parents and extended family. Never a dull moment I tell you…never a dull moment.

The 27th we headed down to Satsuma to my Grandpa’s and saw him, my parents, my brother and my Uncle Tom. It was a good time. My Papa is an awesome dude. At 86 he has more energy and a better outlook on life than most people half his age. He’s a special man.

Now we’re home and have had to deal with allllll of the presents. It took us ALL DAY to get our stuff put back together.

OK…thats about what I have for this post about Christmas….What did I leave out for the future???

–Indoor Helicopters
–New Flip
–New Camera
–Slug bug

What would you do?

I’ve been thinking about writing this blog entry for quite some time now, but I always felt like it was inappropriate. And maybe it still is. But it is something that I’ve been going through for a while now, so I feel like this is MY blog and this is a way I express myself.

So if you have known me at all over the past few years you know that I have had a very close friend that I would consider a sister for about 3 years. We met during law school and she was one of the best friends I have ever had. Until recently. I moved to Alabama to be near my family and go ahead and take the bar exam in Georgia. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done..leaving my brother in Texas and the family I had made for myself there. The worst part being that my husband would be remaining in Texas for as long as it took for him to transfer to his job back out here. I thought I could handle it, I thought it would only be a few weeks. Well, I was wrong. Way wrong. It ended up being almost 3 months. All the while I’m very pregnant with our first child together. Needless to say I was extremely emotional for about a thousand reasons this summer and one of those reasons was a disconnect with this friend. I just didn’t feel like she understood or cared about what I was going through. I was 3 states away from my husband. And although I am living with his parents, I was essentially alone in a city I didn’t know with next to zero friends during one of the hardest times in my life. A time when all I needed was a friend.

All of this boiled down to a moment I’m not proud of, and is almost silly to write. I basically stopped following this friend and her boyfriend at the time on Twitter without so much as an explanation. It was childish. I know. But something happened after that. Something I’m not sure I will ever understand, unless given the chance. Everything just stopped. She stopped talking to me. Period. I haven’t heard from her on the phone since July.

Now, I know I did something so very childish and foolish, but honestly, that is the only thing I can think of that would have made her angry at me.

I’ve called. I’ve texted. Nothing.

All of this is to say merely this: I’m lost. I dont understand what happened and I don’t have a way to get closure. She has completely cut me out of her life. She was like a sister to me. She was like the sister I always wanted but never had. I think about everything that has happened and I’m just perplexed, stunned, crushed, dazed, confused, angry, resentful, regretful the whole nine yards.

My reasoning for writing this blog is selfish. I just wanted it all out in front of me…to see if there is something I’ve missed. Some incident, some exchange that I can’t remember. But it hasn’t worked. I’m still here….months later and I’m still just as confused as I have ever been.

I miss her. I miss our friendship, but when I ask myself, do you want her back in your life…I’m always left with a question mark. If there is something so terrible as to justify this extended silence …well then of course. But if it all is as I remember, would it ever be the same? Could I ever trust her again? Could I ever be a real friend to her? So much has happened that I thought would repair our friendship. To get it out of this black hole that just keeps getting deeper and deeper. But it never did. She got engaged and I had a baby and still no conversation. Just mere exchanges through text or facebook. (which is to say that I now have an all new extreme distaste for social media..yet still use it all too frequently. but if I hadn’t just had Cici then it would be a totally different story…I pretty much want to delete facebook daily)

My question is this: what would you do? How do you get past something like that? Something you can’t explain or understand…? I suppose that time is the only thing that helps and with time I will get over it..

And can I ever let anyone get that close who isn’t family? Can I ever not second guess myself in a friendship? I have great friends that I know would never cut me out and not at least do so while reading me the absolute riot act. But what about new people? What about people from work or people I meet in line at the grocery store or in the meat department or at a football game? What then? How do you move past it next time?

New life, New Blog

So much has changed in the last year that I thought it would be fitting to create a new blog. Instead of being a lowly law student with one kiddo, two dogs and a husband living a block from TCU and the best friends a family could ask for, I am now a newly minted real life lawyer with two kids, two dogs and a husband living 25ish miles from my alma mater and 3 states away from our very best friend/family. And although some days I find it difficult to muster the courage to endure the next few months of finding a job, a home and some peace of mind, most days I am just thankful for a family that I love to allow me to cherish the journey.

I will attempt to keep this blog as up to date as possible. My intent is to chronicle our lives as they continue to grow and change as well as keep up with my beautiful new daughter’s milestones. I currently have 2 blogs mustering in my mind…I hope to keep a blog going for each month of her life so far and little tid bits of what we’ve been up to during that time.

I hope that this will be a place I can express myself and in the mean time entertain at least myself while I’m at it. If I get a few readers, I’ll be happy. If I dont…I can always come back and read this through my iglass brain sensor reading sunglass wireless facetop (cuz it isnt a laptop if its on your face, duh) thingie while I ride in my self propelled automatically driven car that changes colors like a mood ring on my way to watch a football game on the moon and remember what life was like way back when. 🙂

J doesn’t think that made sense. I challenge him to be witty and clever like his lawyer wife. BRING IT ON.

Ok…………here goes nothing…I hope we at least enjoy the blog ride!